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25-Dec-2017 15:02

As a child, I grew up in Conservative congregations in Georgia, New Jersey, and Minnesota, was educated in Jewish day schools from kindergarten through fifth grade, and spent most of my childhood summers at Jewish summer camps.

As an adult I have written for Jewish newspapers and teach in a synagogue. She would usually say that she was “not an atheist” or that she was a non-practicing Methodist.

In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.

After one date, though, I would beat myself up mentally for breaking my rule, and I’d avoid making second dates.

Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding.

I was only able to relax around non-Jewish women, because I didn’t feel the same pressure; that’s how I met, and fell in love with, my wife.

But even while my relationships with non-Jewish girls fizzled, I still didn’t have any other options.

Jewish girls often were interested in Jewish guys—many of these girls ended up dating and even marrying Jews; they just weren’t interested in dating high-pressure, community-survival minded, intense, and awkward me. While I was at school, I joined an online discussion forum where I began to chat with a non-Jewish girl named Alicia.

Even as our relationship became more serious, I did not want to push her to convert, yet I kept hoping she would become interested in the religion on her own.

When she arrived at my friend’s house, her hair was dyed red and she was dressed in a black suit: very Agent Scully. We went out for Thai food with my friend and his wife.

It felt very much like a double date between two married couples, even though the meeting was hardly planned that way.

Most of the women the site matched me with wouldn’t risk even a simple online chat with me.

Meanwhile, more and more of my friends were getting engaged, more and more of them started families, and I had never dated anyone for more than a few weeks. If Jewish women weren’t attracted to me, I’d go find women who were.

Even as our relationship became more serious, I did not want to push her to convert, yet I kept hoping she would become interested in the religion on her own.When she arrived at my friend’s house, her hair was dyed red and she was dressed in a black suit: very Agent Scully. We went out for Thai food with my friend and his wife.It felt very much like a double date between two married couples, even though the meeting was hardly planned that way.Most of the women the site matched me with wouldn’t risk even a simple online chat with me.Meanwhile, more and more of my friends were getting engaged, more and more of them started families, and I had never dated anyone for more than a few weeks. If Jewish women weren’t attracted to me, I’d go find women who were.One of my dates somehow managed to steer every discussion, no matter how unrelated, to the topic of cheesecake.